"She could not save her soul by burying her spirit"

I'm reading the book Dance, Children, Dance by Jim Rayburn III right now.

It's about his parents, Jim & Maxine Rayburn, the founders of Young Life.

So far, I have wanted to read and re-read every chapter. I think I'm going to have to read this book a million time before I can truly appreciate every word.

The Rayburn's story is incredible. I love it because it isn't one of those that makes living a Christian life look like a fairy tale.

There is no sugarcoating, no jumping over the messy facts, it's just the truth.

They had a beautiful life. By no means was it an easy life, but they did so many incredible things with their time on this earth.

The Rayburn's had their fair share of troubles. One of them being Maxine's depression and drug addiction (told you it wasn't easy).

Maxine had grown up with a strong will & free spirit, but once she got involved in "the church" she felt as if she had to be proper like the other pastor's wives.

She stopped dancing and wearing makeup, she changed the way she did her hair and what clothes she chose to wear.

She missed the fact that being a believer was about freedom, not religious rules.

She became so lost in the religion of Christianity that she was no longer herself.

Jim Rayburn wrote about his mother, "She could not save her soul by burying her spirit".

I think it's important to keep one's spirit intact.

Like Shakespeare said, "To thine own self be true".

Think of all the kids Maxine could have reached out to through her own quirky spirit if she hadn't gotten caught up in religious restrictions! Kids are drawn to extraordinary people! People who are not afraid to be themselves, people who are a little wacky. I would know, because as a few of my friends constantly remind me, I'm weird!

None of us can "save our souls by burying our spirits".

Christianity is not about adhering to a slew of rules and regulations.

Being a believer is supposed to save you from confinement like that! Christ wants us to be ourselves, not squelch the unique person he created us to be.

I hate that most of the world thinks that to be a Christian you have to be dull.

Sooooo not true!

It's a heart thing.

It's a love thing.

It's a life changing--reason to wake up in the morning--fills you full of life thing.

It should enhance your spirit, not crush it.

"So be who you are as created by God. In prayer say your own word, sing your own song, and be true to it." -John Eagan

thanksgiving: a month early

Every other week or so my mom send's me an index card in the mail with a thoughtful note, or a Bible verse, an excerpt from a book she's reading, or an insightful quote. The latest one that I received said:

"If you woke up this morning & all you had was what you thanked God for the previous day...what would you have?"

I guess that this sounds a little like something you would find on a church sign. Those cheesy sayings that they put out to pull people into church.

But it really did make me think.

It's so easy to get caught up in whats wrong with the world these days.

After all, there lots of terrible things going on.

But there is also plenty to be thankful for.

I know that traditionally Thanksgiving would be the time to reflect on what blessings are in my life, but when it comes right down to it, every day should be Thanksgiving!

Christ showers me with blessings daily. Through good times & bad.

So today, I'm going to highlight some things that I am most thankful for.

First, I am thankful to have a mom that encourages me so well. She has always been kind of a silent partner, working with Christ to lead me into the person I am meant to be.

She has been supportive of the good decisions I have made and has helped me overcome many of my greatest faults. Without her, I would be a completely different person than I am today.

I'm also thankful for my roommates. It is always kind of scary to live with people that you are so close to. I live and work with these girls so we spend lots of time together. Yes we wear on one another's nerves, I'm sure of it, but at the end of the day, I know that they've got my back. It's lucky for us that we all kind of have the same sense of humor, we're sarcastic, but goofy at the same time. We can often be found dancing wildly in the living room, sitting on the counters in the kitchen instead of our couches, or watching movies while eating popcorn and M&M's. They didn't care that I turned the dining room into my art studio and they usually don't mind when my incense makes our house smell like we had an indoor bonfire. What was once just a house is truly now a home.

I'm thankful for the community that I live in. Yes it is small. No there isn't a whole lot to do. But it is special to me. I like that there are still some places untouched by the fast life of the rest of the world. I like the cows and the hay bales and the little fishing boats on the lake.

I'm thankful for the high school friends I have made through Young Life. Who knew that some of the people I would love hanging out with the most as a college grad would be high school kids? I guess to some people, that sounds incredibly creepy, but it wouldn't if you knew about Young Life. So check it out, here . They keep me young and I love them dearly.

I'm very thankful for skype! Now doesn't that sound weird?! But seriously. I have friends in California, Illinios, Colorado, Texas, Florida, Alabama, North Carolina, and even Nicaragua. It is so nice to be able to see their faces when I talk to them. It's nice to text them and talk on the phone, but to see their smiles and tears and reactions to stories makes all the difference.

Random List of things I'm thankful for:

glowsticks. hummus. hammocks. sunrooms. rainy days. the smoky mountains. candles. pictures. twitter. the mcminns. pandora. frontporches. green tea. hair dye. nail polish. pita bread. el sazon. my grandparents. wild flowers. coffee. running. nice perfume. my ipod. scarves. letters. eyeliner. frog rings. and my best friends.

{life is good}

One of my absolute favorite books is a children's book.

"Harriet the Spy" has more depth to it than first meets the eye.

It's a story of an eccentric little girl who sees the world a little differently than most 11 year olds.

Harriet wants to be a world traveling spy when she grows up, so she spends her afternoons 'training'. She spies on her parents, her neighbors, her friends, and anyone else she can conveniently watch without being caught. Her best friends are made up of a mature boy she calls Sport, Janie, a mad scientist in training, and her nanny, Ole Golly.

Ole Golly is always encouraging Harriet to see the best in people and to appreciate the differences that make us who we are.

She helps to broaden Harriet's world, which otherwise would leave the little girl in a lonely, upper class world.

This book makes me laugh out loud as well as cry when Harriet's hurting.

I think it offers quite a but of insight into the soul of all young people, as well as my own.

Her feelings are raw and unguarded. She is brave and she is independent.

She is very much like me.

I'm going to post some of my favorite quotes from the book. Most of which come from Harriet's wise nanny, who plays more a mother role than her actual mother.

It wouldn't take but a few hours to read it, so go pick it up!

"Ole Golly says there is as many ways to live as there are people on the earth and I shouldn't go around with blinders on, but should see every way I can." -Harriet

"Well nonetheless, that's how you feel. Feeling never makes any sense anyway, Harriet, you should know that by now." -Ole Golly

"I feel all the same things when I do things alone as when Ole Golly was here. The bath feels hot, the bed feels soft, but I feel there's a funny little hole in me that wasn't there before, like a splinter in your finger, but this is somewhere above my stomach." -Harriet

"Tears won't bring me back, Harriet. Remember that. Tears never bring anything back." -Ole Golly

"Another thing. If you're missing me I want you to know I'm not missing you. Gone is gone. I never miss anything or anyone because it all becomes a lovely memory. I guard my memories and love them, but I don't get in them and lie down. You can even make stories from yours, but remember, they don't come back. Just think how awful it would be if they did." -Ole Golly

life lately

I started blogging again because I was inspired by my friend Katie Hayes.

We not only share a house, but a passion for photography as well.

Come to think of it, we do a lot of sharing! It's mostly me borrowing her cute clothes & her fancy camera and a little of her borrowing a cup of sugar of a glass of milk here and there.

But I digress.

Katie is so talented that she has not one, but TWO blogs!

One showcasing her fantastic photography skills & the other is simply about her life.

Both are beautiful in the way that only completely genuine things are.

I am lucky enough to be spending a great deal of time with Katie lately.

Lucky because she likes to get away from the small town we live in & so do I.

I'm hoping that she's ok with me "sharing" some pictures that she has

taken of our activities over the last month or so.

I am currently without a real camera or a smart phone, so my phone pi

cs don't do our travels justice.

Here is a sample of my life lately, through pictures (some mine, some Katie's).

We saw Mat Kearney in concert:

We went hiking at the Max Patch in North Carolina:

We had a photo shoot as well, but I'll let you see Katie's edited pic's on her actual blog, here

Time travel is real. And it is called Homecoming.

It is nice to know that while most things in this world change constantly, some things never do.

There will always be some friends, tried and true, that just do not fade into the past.

Sure, life pulls us each in different directions, and we all become more of our true selves and less of our dependent selves every day, but we will always be us.

I felt as if the past had found me this weekend.

I'm not one to hold onto what has been, I move on rather quick.

But it was so nice to be reminded of the good times.

My friend Sarah put it like this, "I don't remember the bad grades I made, but I'm sure that

I made them. I remember you all and all the marvelous times we had together."

We are older now and definitely wiser (although considering how absolutely insane we were that isn't saying much!).

But we are still us. Making the most of life.

Drumming to our own beat. Taking our time to settle down. Embracing life's changes. having a good time. Learning to love ourselves.

It's such a comfort to know that these girls love me.

Through everything we went through and though we have drifted apart.

Our friendships are true to the core.

It gives me that warm feeling inside.

I also have a renewed hope for the future, knowing that I have been blessed with friends that will follow me down whatever road I go.

And, that there will most likely be more people in the future that will bless my life as they did.

I'm looking forward to the rest of my life.

To the Full

I wonder what it's like to be at the end of your life, to be closer to your closing chapter than your beginning one. How does it feel to be able to sit & reflect on the place's you've been, the people that you've known, & the many experiences you've been through. Is it a comforting feeling? Is it sad"? Frightening? I suppose that depends on the kind of life you led.

By no means am I wishing my life away, but I do look forward to the day that I can say, "I have lived a good life. I have loved, laughed, wept, screamed, & sighed. I have seen & done all that I wanted. I am content."

My uncle Jude recently lost his wife, Margie. He had lived so long with her that to live without her is merely existing. During a pause in a family gathering the other night, Jude told me that he's waiting. That he is tired & ready to go home. This kind of statement could be such a sad one except that it just isn't. Of course he is tired! He's in his eighties. He has lived close to a century. And he really did live. He has reached the point, that I someday hope to see, where he can look back at his life with satisfaction & contentment, knowing that he left his mark. Moving on is not something scary to him. It is his reward for a race well run. It is something I believe he is looking forward to.

Probably my biggest fear in life is dying young. It really isn't right for me to live in fear of this, & I honestly don't dwell on it, but sometimes when I hear a sad story of a young person called home, I find myself praying that my story will not be as theirs. This world fascinates me. It thrills me & excites me & I want to be out in it. I want to meet people & hear their stories. I want to travel to places that will stretch my mind & challenge my character. I want to LIVE!

I want to love. Not just the get married kind of love. I want to love all types of people, the ones that I get along with, the ones that aggravate me, people that have the same beliefs that I do, & people that have no beliefs at all. I wan to love myself. I want to love Christ. I want to love the air & the sea & the mountains & the leaves & the sunrise & the full moon. And I want to love a man that loves me too.

I don't want to go through life at warp speed. I hope I can embrace every minute of every day. Even the not so good ones, because that is what life is all about. I never want to take my time on Earth for granted. It is truly a gift from the Lord & if I trust in Him, my life will be filled with blessings beyond my comprehension.

When I get to Jude's ages, I hope that I am tired too. Exhausted from simply living my life as I was meant to live it, to the full.