Boldly...as I ought to go

Is it too early to be making New Years resolutions?
I'm going to make mine anyways.
I write the word BOLDLY on my wrist sometimes to remind me to act & speak in that way.
Not bossy or condescendingly, but confidently.
I heard this summer that I can come off as kind of intimidating sometimes, which really surprised me!
I guess that's because I would rather not get rejected. DUH.
But I want to fix that.
I truly want to be bold in everything I do.
Especially when it comes to talking to my high school friends about Jesus.
How important is that? Uh the only the most important.

But it can be so intimidating to work Christ into the conversation & most of the time that's the last thing they want to talk about.
I so want to though. I so want to share. More often than I get to.
And I want them to see Christ making me bold! Because I couldn't do anything without Him!
No one is going to listen to what I have to say if I do so in a timid manner.
No one will believe me if I am not confident in what I say.
I have to believe in myself before others take me seriously.


One of my friends (that shall remain nameless to protect her reputation) was bold enough tonight to tell a boy that she likes him.
She did it through Facebook message & I'm sitting there thinking "No way! I can't believe you're doing it! What if he doesn't care? What if he's like 'uh sorry no'? I could never do that!"
And my friend said "Sometimes you just gotta lay it out on the line".
But that terrifies me!
I really don't think I could.
I'm not good at sharing emotions number one, number two I've only ever told a boy I liked him AFTER he told me he liked me first!
Ha.
I'm such a chicken.

I have Christ in my heart, He is near me always, so why do I not live as though He is in control?
As if He is rooting for me, wanting me to succeed, encouraging me continuously, & going before my every step!
Why do I live in fear & why am I so insecure?
I shouldn't be that way.
I am bold in many ways. Not afraid to try new things, I can share opinions, I wear crazy things sometimes, & I am not embarrassed to get up on stage an play stupid games to make kids laugh.
But I could be even bolder in my friendships with high schoolers & one day I'll have to be bold enough to tell a boy how I really feel.

So this is my New Year's resolution: To live BOLDLY as I ought to live.  I think my life could start looking even better than it does right now if I follow through with it.