2013

Life feels more beautiful these days.
It's the dead of winter & I'm saying life is beautiful.
Who am I?

But it is!
In bittersweet ways & in miraculous ways.
When I stop to think about what kind of state I was in this time last year, I cringe.
What a wreck!
But now, I am resting in a pretty peaceful place.

I can only assume however, that this time of resting is only here because life is shortly going to be turned upside down again.
Not in bad way, but just in a "time for big changes" way.

A lot of things are coming to an end.
My high school friends will graduate from East.
My college friends will graduate (you can do it Jill!) in May.
Hannah Patty is getting married (which is really a start, but the end of her living with me).
And I think my time in Jeff City is also coming to a close.

I sit in my room in the mornings with my coffee, my journal, my bible, & I rest.
I sit with Christ & listen.
I watch the sun light up my room & the birds begin their day.
I am quiet & He meets me here.

I have felt for a very long time now, that after having reached the top of my mountain I am supposed to leap off it!
But I couldn't!
I stared into the unknown with fear & uncertainty.
It was too risky.
But I'm not afraid anymore.
I'm not scared or sad or lonely or hurt.
I am bold & I am brave & I am me again.