There are rocks & trees & water to jump into. It's all so beautiful. 

But I still miss you.

Fanning the Flame

I don't know about you, but I've been slow to get back in the swing of things this semester.  Partly because I've been sick, partly because I've been scared to get back on the horse.
For some reason, I've been lacking the drive & energy to tackle the busy couple months that lay before me.
I needed a pick-me-up. I needed someone to light a fire under me!
I finally got just that.


Today I finished the book I started last semester In the Name of Jesus by Henri JM Nouwen (he is the most fantastic person). 
There were some POWERFUL words in these last few chapters.
I wanted to share them with you, my fellow Young Life leaders, in case I am not the only one that needed Christ to 'light a fire in my weary soul'.
Read them, take them to heart, maybe copy them down in your journal like I did.
Whatever you do with these words, be sure to be encouraged by them!




"Jesus has a different view of maturity than that of the world: It is the ability & willingness to be led where you would rather not go"


"The servant leader is the leader who is being led to unknown, undesirable, & painful places.  The way of the Christian leader is not the way of upward mobility in which  our world has invested so much, but the way of downward mobility ending on the cross"


"It is not a leadership of power & control, but a leadership of powerlessness & humility in which the suffering servant of God, Jesus Christ, is made manifest."


"The loud boisterous noises of the world make us deaf to the soft, gentle, & loving voice of God.  A Christian leader is called to help people hear that voice & so be comforted & consoled."


"He asks us to move from a concern for relevance to a life of prayer, from worries about popularity to communal & mutual ministry, & from a leadership built on power to a leadership in which we critically discern where God is leading us & our people."


"I leave you with the image of the leader with outstretched hands, who chooses a life of downward mobility.  It is the image of the praying leader, the vulnerable leader, & the trusting leader.  May that image fill your hearts with hope, courage, & confidence as you anticipate the next [semester]."

My Pain. My Struggle. My Reward.

Take this to heart & doubt not that you are the one who killed Christ. Your sins certainly did, & when you see the nails driven through His hands, be sure that you are pounding, & when the thorns pierce His brow, know that they are your evil thoughts. Consider that if one thorn pierced Christ you deserve a hundred  thousand. -Martin Luther

Does that seem a little harsh?

Yeh, I thought so too.

But isn't it also completely true?

Why did Christ let himself be tortured, humiliated, & crucified?

Because he loves me.

He gave his life for me....how have I re-payed him?

Not as I should that's for sure.

Last week I posted a poem about perfection.

I try so hard to be perfect which I think is due to the kind of home I grew up in where anything less than perfect wasn't good enough.

I also think it's because I spent 9 years at a private school where the people were so close minded that I would be surprised to learn that they had any original thoughts at all.

No matter how much "progress" I think I have made in my relationship with Christ, I always catch myself trying to earn his attention & his love.

I keep attempting to be good enough.

After all, that's how much of the world views Christianity.

They think us to be stick in the mud, rule following, judgmental, self righteous, know-it-alls. That's the environment in which I was raised.

The one that smothered me & turned me away from a life with Christ.

It's so sad.

But I found the truth!!!

It is not about being fixed; it is about God's being present in the mess of our unfixedness. -Mike Yaconelli

The truth is that he doesn't expect perfection from us!

He expects us to love him, to talk to him, to be with him, simply to try.

He knows we can never be perfect.

And I know all this, however, I continue to beat myself up every time I falter.

When I wander away from his path, when I make huge mistakes, there is still doubt in the back of my mind that he will be there, waiting on me, to run back to him.

But he is there.

And he always will be.

(MIND BLOWN)

Peter denied Christ 3 times through words.

I deny Christ through my actions so often.

But he always claims me. 

Fix your eyes on the Crucified & nothing else will be of much importance to you. If his Majesty revealed his love to us by doing & suffering such amazing things, how can you expect to please him through words alone? -Teresa of Avila

I work for Young Life, a ministry to high school kids.

I love what I do & cannot imagine doing anything else, but it isn't an easy road.

Living in a college atmosphere after graduating is challenging. 

I feel as if I straddle 2 worlds.

Both of which are rather lonely.

I get caught up in the college mindset of having to be busy all the time.

Always having to be doing something fun, or risky, or being surrounded by people constantly.

Too often I buy into the lie that what is most important is what I am doing on the weekends.

My life is not about having the best story come Monday morning.

It's about sharing the gospel with high school kids.

If that means feeling lonely, left out, or out of place, then that is a cross I am willing to bear.

Christ gave it all for me.

Shouldn't I be willing to carry a cross for him?

As the quote above says, if I keep Christ & his sacrifice for me at the fore front of my mind, then everything else will fade into the background.

The most important things in life will stand out to me & I will not give in to all the lies the world throws my way.

Maybe you quit reading this post a long time ago, can't say that I blame you.

It's kind of all over the place.

But it is what I am feeling right now & what I am feeling most all the time.

I am trying to live a life that imitates Christ.

I fail often.

But I keep trying because I know that he truly loves me...especially when I am weak.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look at his wonderful face,

& the things of the world

will grow strangely dim

In the light of his glory & grace.